


lazy garden afternoons

by bestgirlfaust (hhmihailov)



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bittersweet, Hurt/Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22036822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhmihailov/pseuds/bestgirlfaust
Summary: set during the palace year. julian and asra take a break together in the palace gardens, but there's something else on their minds.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Kudos: 26





	lazy garden afternoons

“ilya.”

the quiet utterance of his name is so familiar, and he startles at the sound, freezing in his spot in the garden. he whirls around to put a face to the voice, a sudden need rising in his chest, a longing for the comfort that julian seeks. his eyes land on one extraordinarily attractive magician, lounging against his favorite tree without a care in the world. the bright sunlight filters through the branches, casting highlights and shadows on his face. a soft breeze dances through the white curls of his hair. julian, as always, cannot look away.

“asra, good to see you. you’re looking ravishing, as always.” julian plasters a grin on his face that he does not feel. the way asra watches him leaves julian feeling exposed, and he fidgets where he stands.

“if i didn’t know any better, i would say you’ve been looking for me.” the teasing tone accompanied with the lazy twinkle in his eye has julian’s face heating, and he swallows hard, tugging on the collar of his jacket.

“no, i—ah, just wanted some fresh air. the library was getting…” his free hand tugs at his unruly red locks, and he bites his lip, nervous and tired. it’s been a long week.

a knowing expression passes over asra’s tired face, and he shifts, readjusting himself against the tree and patting the grass next to him in invitation. julian hesitates for a moment, but asra’s smile is insistent, and then julian wastes no time settling down next to him after removing his jacket and hanging it on one of the tree branches. he tenses when asra leans his head against the doctor’s shoulder, but relaxes when their hands find each other, fingers curling between one another. it’s a comfort julian has been craving for weeks, but didn’t know how to ask for.

his eyes slide shut, and he brings asra’s hand up to his lips for a gentle kiss. asra’s breathing slows, and julian holds his breath for a moment. “i trust you’ve been working hard, my dear. what will the count say when i cure the plague all by my lonesome?”

asra’s answering chuckle is deep, and julian can feel it vibrate against his side. “oh, of course. these naps won’t take themselves. it’s very skilled work for someone such as myself, you know.”

the doctor snorts, and then they settle into a lapse of silence. for once, julian doesn’t feel the need to fill it, mind wandering, rushing in every-which-way direction, crushing him, reminding him of the weight of his duty. but the weight of asra’s hand in his is comforting, and it’s the only thing that keeps him from completely spiraling on the spot. he opens his eyes when a breeze rushes by, and squeezes the magician’s hand. asra hums in response, a sleepy sound, yet julian knows he’s listening.

“asra, i… do you think this will ever be over?” at his words, the easy silence they had dampens, threatens to choke both of them as they remember everything they’re fighting for. the sun shines on them but people are dying, screaming, burning, and they can’t save them all. “do you think i’ll ever be able to atone for all the people i couldn’t save?”

asra’s smaller body shifts again, and julian can feel those keen eyes on his face. instead of meeting them, he looks down at their hands, intertwined. his hair falls into his face, and he brushes it back, a hurried gesture.

“what is atonement worth if we can’t forgive ourselves?” asra’s voice is so soft, that julian almost misses the words, and when they settle in his ears, his chest aches. asra speaks from experience; julian can recognize their twin desperation. asra speaks as someone who has lost someone, but in this hell of famine and pestilence, haven’t they all? “the only thing left for us to do is to do better, and to keep going. if we spend too much time dwelling on what we’ve done… it’ll kill us.”

the words carry enough desperation that julian can’t help but look over at him, and he’s shocked to see the magician’s usual guarded eyes glazed over with tears. his hand tightens on asra’s subconsciously, and then he’s leaning in, brushing their lips together, tender, a rare change from their usual ferocity. when asra presses forward into it, julian’s lips part, free hand coming to cup asra’s cheek, heart jumping in his chest. the only sounds in the garden are the rustle of tree branches, the lapping of the fountain, and their breathing.

julian doesn’t know how long they stay like that or who pulls away first, but he’s not longer thinking about the plague when asra’s eyes open slowly to meet his, their mouths still centimeters apart. the doctor opens his mouth to say something, to kiss him again, to do something, but asra silences him with a hand on his chest, fingers carding gently through the hair there. he leans up, lips hovering over the skin on his cheek, and julian feels himself burning when asra places a kiss there.

“i’m too tired for anything else. i want to sleep.” the words seem to slide shut whatever door julian had opened, and he’s left wondering if he even got an answer out of the always-aloof, always-cryptic magician in his arms. asra lowers his head down to julian’s lap, face pressed into his stomach, the rest of his body curled towards the tree. on instinct, julian’s fingers card through the other’s hair, always so soft. asra signs, presses his head into julian’s hand, and the older man laughs at the action.

mere moments later, asra’s breathing evens out, and then julian is alone with his thoughts again. he tips his head back, auburn hair spilling back against the tree as he stares up through the branches, and the sunlight warms his face. it’s a beautiful day. the sky is clear, asra is here with him, he has made some progress on another medical method—perhaps a breakthrough. it should be wonderful… but all he can feel is empty.


End file.
